French for the learning disabled

Translate the following sentences into your favourite language, then back into french.

1) Que puis-je faire?
2) Pourquoi a-t-il mangé cet abricot?
3) Que nous veut-il?
4) Pourquoi a-t-il laissé cela là-dedans?
5) S'agit-il de ce que je pense?
6) Comment auraient-ils pu faire un tel emprunt?
7) Est-elle au courant de son opération?
8) N'avait-elle pas promi de vomir?
9) Et si nous lui disions cela à ce sujet?
10) Suis-je bien chez Monsieur Gaston Perrier? - Non, vous vous êtes trompé(s).
11) Pourquoi pleure-t-il? Est-ce à cause de la mort d'un proche?
12) Est-il toujours aussi méchant avec les enfants?
13) Leur relation n'était-elle pas purement affective?
14) Ces élections eurent-elles bien lieu en août, Madame?
15) Pamplemousses, vous ne nous avez pas encore livré tous vos secrets.
16) Sirène.
17) Pâle, automne, boulangerie.
18) Quel est le but de tout cela?

Saying sorry won't buy me a new fishing rod (an experimental joke)

Last night I had the most beautiful dream. I was peeling an avocado with my bare hands, but it kept saying sarcastically to me : "If you're going to eat an avocado, do it properly, will you ?" Suddenly I was elsewhere — I believe I was on a beach, but there was no sand or sea. Then I realized it was more like a bank, and all my fingers had become pencils. When I awoke, I was walking in the street — I must have fallen asleep on my way to the bakery.

A pointless reminder

Don't forget there are more jokes avalaible at http://sophisticatedhumor.blogspot.com. They get funnier all the time!

Gunnar the Storyteller in : "I never can say goodbye"

 One day Gunnar the Storyteller went to the bakery.

 Gunnar : Hola, ¿me pone dos barras de pan, por favor?

 Baker : I beg your pardon?

 Gunnar : Dos barras de pan, por favor.

 Baker : I don't mean to pry, but why are you speaking in spanish?

 Gunnar : Wait a minute, you mean this is spanish? But if that's so... which language was I speaking the other day in Johannesburg?

"Me on a postcard", or : "Running loose"

A : All right, let's see... Let me have, er... some strawberries... two or three pears... an avocado... couple grapefruits... oh, and a kiwi, please.

B : How many times do I have to tell you? I don't sell fruit in here. I only sell wicker furniture.

A : Oh, do you? Then why do I see pineapples all over the place?

B : You see... in my line of work, a man gets to be lonely...