The timeless art of seduction

 Derek walked into one of those old-fashioned, turn-of-the-century barbershops, with the colourful twisting thingy, the nice after-shave smell, the harmless insignificant chatter, the mints in the fish bowl — the works.

 Barber (cordially) — Good day, sir ! And what can I do for you today ?

 Derek (sweating profusely, clears his throat) — I was looking for a tobacconist's.

 ...And the barber gave him directions. Derek nodded politely, and off he went. Later that day, however, he came back. (You may want to imagine the sound of the little bell attached to the door as he walks in.)

 Barber (cordially) — Good day, sir ! And what can I do for you today ?

 Derek (still agitated) — I was looking for a flower shop.

 ...And the barber gave him directions, and so on. Later that day, however, Derek came back. (Bear in mind that, whenever he speaks, every sentence must end as if it were a question.)

 Barber (cordially) — Good day, sir ! And what can I do for you today ?

 Derek (with more self-confidence) — I was looking for the wax museum.

 Barber (understandingly) — Well... I'm certainly glad to help out, but, frankly, I don't know why you keep coming in here to ask for directions.

 Derek (with his eyes downcast) — Oh... I see.

 And he left. The joke is hilarious as it is, but hold your laugh until you hear the punchline ! You see, the barber should have been less enterprising. Should he have reacted with more patience — what we Europeans call finesse —, he would have found Derek to be the most charming individual and the most reliable of friends. In fact, Derek wanted the most expensive haircut, but he was too shy to admit it in a straightforward manner ! Instead, the barber's intimidating ways put him off and scared him away — for good.

 But what's even funnier, if you think about it (and now I'm just speculating), is that Derek probably thought that, since the man owned an old-fashioned barbershop, it was only natural that he would also go by the old-fashioned laws of seduction and therefore be a little more tactful than he proved to be. What a silly conclusion to draw !